St. Thomas Stories

I’m trying very hard to remember what the sun felt like on my vacation a week ago.  It’s hard to do that because the weather in Philly today is the absolute opposite of what it was like in St. Thomas.  Today is dreary, cold, and just damn near insufferable.  I don’t remember March being this cold.  OK, I got that out of my system. I digress…

My trip was great.  It was wonderful to spend time with Trisha, whom I get to see once a year, if I am lucky.  I arrived a few hours after Trisha, so she was going to pick me up at the airport with her mom.  As soon as I stepped into the baggage claim area, I was ambushed by Trisha and her mom with a “WELCOME LAUREN” sign made out of a napkin, I think, and a cold beer.  What a welcome!  Nearly as soon as we made it to the condo, we had to start getting ready for our friend Pash’s birthday dinner.  I was a little tired, but it was really fun.  We had some really good wines, and I remember enjoying our meal.  We ate on the deck, which overlooks one of the newer marinas on the island.  Of course, there’s a story here.  There was a weird guy who was leaning so closely into our table, listening to every word that we said, that he practically was the 11^th guest at the table.  The restaurant ended up moving him to another table further away from our group.  We thought the problem was solved.  Then, Trisha and I head to the restroom, which was out of sightline from our table.  As soon as we got up to walk over to the bathroom, this man got up and followed us.  Luckily Max and his friend Shy noticed and followed.  So Trisha and I make it to the bathroom door, and it was locked.  So we were waiting for the person to come out when the weird man came over to us.  Here’s how the conversation went:

Weird Guy: Hi, what’s your name?

Lauren: Sarah

Weird Guy: (to Trisha) And what’s your name?

Trisha: Ummmm….Sarah

(I look at her like…wtf??)

Weird Guy: Where are you from?

Trisha: Around here.

Weird Guy: Where?

Trisha: Here.

Weird Guy: WHERE ARE YOU FROM?

And then Max and Shy came around the corner to make sure we were OK.  Ah! We weren’t really in any danger because there were tons of people around, but it was really strange.  I wasn’t sure what his objective was.  But once we had our new bodyguards Max and Shy with us, we started cracking up.  Sarah and Sarah?  After that, we went to Fat Turtle for some drinks and dancing.  Pash introduced us to everyone as Sarah 1 and Sarah 2.  It became this week-long joke.  Trisha and I practiced: if any weird people asked our names again, I would be Sarah and she would be Kate.  We continued that night in VIP with some NFL players (someone from the Ravens? And someone else from the Jets? I can’t remember) and ended it by a reprimand from Ritz security for being too loud when we came home.  So…..the trip was off with a bang. 

The rest of the week was mostly calmer.  We did our favorites: Duffy’s for drinks, Woody’s in St. John for curly fries, Lucky downtown for jewelry, and of course, the beach for tans.  My tan has almost completely faded, but it was looking good there for a while.   Our trip to St. John was characteristically sloppy.  The $1 happy hour drinks at Woody’s made for a very loud and obnoxious ferry ride back to St. Thomas.  The other passengers were really amused. 

Shopping in St. John

Trying to use a napkin as a shawl

The fountains at the hotel

MJ night at Duffy's

Being calm and collected on the ferry

On Friday, we went on a catamaran day trip for snorkeling.  I love snorkeling! I saw a huge barracuda with big teefs! The crew was really fun and the lunch they served was yummy.  It was a perfect way to end the vacation. 

The flight home was eventful.  I always have some sort of ridiculous flight story, don’t I?  The airport was bananas because of issues at the Miami airport.  Dr. and Mrs. Bryniczka’s flight was cancelled completely, and they ended up having to book completely new flights that left seven hours later.  I thought that I was a lucky duck because my puddle jumper for my 23-minute flight to Puerto Rico was on time.  Boarding time!  The other passengers and I lined up and headed out on the tarmac.  But….no plane! We stood there in the sweltering heat for about five minutes before we were led to our plane. 

But then an announcement from the ground crew: “You cannot have carry-on luggage on this plane.  We have to take them now!”  OKKKKKKK. 

Another announcement: “Ten people cannot come on this flight.  We need ten volunteers.”  Not I, said the Lauren. Eight people volunteer.  The rest of us board the plane.

Another announcement: “We’re too heavy.  We have to take fuel off of the plane” The nine year-old next to me and I exchange worried glances

Another announcement: “We’re still too heavy.  Five more people must come off of this plane.  You better volunteer before we force you!” At this point, my nine year old bff and I are visibly sweating.  Four people exit the plane.

Announcement from the captain: “So you must be wondering what the issue is.  The thing is that normally there is a lot of wind on St. Thomas, but today the wind has died.  And there’s a mountain on the end of this runway.  So, if we don’t make the plane lighter…we’re not going to make it over the mountain.” The nine year old and I both poop our pants.  I convert to Catholicism and begin Confession.

Another announcement: “OK, everyone needs to sit in the seats in the back of the plane……OK, that’s good enough.  Welcome aboard Flight 1438 to Puerto Rico!”

Now, my dear readers, you may be wondering why I didn’t just get off the plane.  It basically seemed like I had a 85% chance of a fiery death.   Well, I had a connecting flight in Puerto Rico that would take me back to Philly.  If I took a later flight to Puerto Rico, I would most likely miss this second leg.  And that would mean that I would be stuck in Puerto Rico overnight.  I rest my case.

And points to those readers who had the airplane scene from Tommy Boy in mind.

After a full, stressful week at work, I am headed back to the Bay Area tonight.  I am excited to stay put for a few weeks, and I am even more excited to see Dirk and Penny! I’ll be back again in May, suckers!